My mother would tell me I need to "priortize". This becomes more of an impossible task every day,because more and more I'm losing sight of what my "prioities" really are. Eddie told me I'm so restless because I need to find something to do that I love. I thought about that and it is kinda true. I do nothing in my life other than work my ass off at school and be with Eddie. And I sure as hell don't love school, and I'm relatively certain "doing" a significant other doesn't count. Either way, I need to find something to immerse mself in, and to challenge myself. I need to find something that relaxes me. I don't know what it is, because I'm not a musician, I'm not a writer, and I'm not an artist. I wonder what I am though. I want to find that one thing. Lately, it's like I don't have a talent. Not that I have to be the best at something, just that I want to be proud of what I do. Hopefully as time goes by I will find that "thing" I'm looking for.
Regardless, for now, I'm learning how to cope with the fact that I am a talntless, direction lacking dreamer with only a finger nail of creativity.
Oh well. They say the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.
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